Songs » How Good it Feels
I've been away but I have not traveled
I've been laid so low I've heard death's rattle
Oh, I can't tell you. (Oh, I can't tell you)
How good it feels to be back--
Oh, I can't tell you. (Oh, I can't tell you)
How good it feels to be back home.
On the island of Cancer you live without a song.
Some make it home; some don't live very long.
I'm just luckier than some of them.
I've been changed and I have been shaken,
I have taken blood from a stranger.
I have walked in the shadow,
And oh, I can't tell you
How good it feels to be back--
How good it feels to be back--
How good it feels to be back home.
Story of the Song
This is a song about surviving. Surviving leukemia, that is. I was 38 years old, married with a young son 2 1/2 years old, and was trying to do too much, be everything to everyone. I started getting sick a lot, feeling weak, having night sweats. Somehow, I lost 25 pounds and did not realize it. Diagnosed with AML (acute mylogenous leukemia) on January 14th 1994, I entered the hospital for chemotherapy, then had my world rocked again at 4:30 am Monday, when the Northridge earthquake struck.
After two more rounds of chemo, full-body radiation and an autologous bone-marrow transplant, I returned home after 6 months of hospital stints, and a 45% chance of surviving. Oddly, I never believed I was going to die, yet at the same time, had accepted that I very well might. In this song, I declare “how good it feels to be back home”; making it “back home” simply meant staying alive, and not dying. This is an upbeat song, for sure.
This is an upbeat song, for sure. The minor chord that ends it is my salute to all those who did not make it.